Rapunzel here ;)
I have been in a crappy mood these past few weeks. And today, here i am on these uncomfortable red chairs, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.
I have been a complete ass to YenMen these past few weeks, especially when he's about to go out and live his life. Doing stuff normal guys do. My mood got even crappier when he said the words "im going out for awhile". I really dont wanna be those kind of girls who controls their boyfriends, who clings so tight on them (tho, i am clingy). On normal days, well most of the time, i would just let him go out. Because it means that i get some time to myself too.
But lately.... Haih.... So last night i laid in bed, blinking in the dark, trying to figure out myself. Cant always blame the hormones can we? I was contemplating all the possible reasons. He already spent the whole day texting me, what's wrong with going out for a few hours right?
Then it hit me...
It's not enough. Texts and calls are no longer enough.
I need him to be constantly physically present. I need to be able to see him always, whenever i want. I need him to be here. Texts and calls are no longer enough. I need him to always be here.
Yep, long distance relationship sucks. But times are tough, asking him to come see me as often as he could just feels wrong. I just gotta live with what i have.
But living everyday life surrounded by couples everywhere make me ache his presence.
I really cant do this anymore.